Oor Shipping policy fer how Your Stuff Gets To Ye
Before ye start staring out the window waiting on the postman, here is the honest score on how we get your packages oot oor door.
How did we send yer stuff out?
We are a business, no’ a charity.
To keep costs down for everybody, we use the cheapest way possible – standard budget postage.
Although we use “budget” shipping to save you and us $$ we ship each parcel “tracked” and with an “adult signature required on delivery”.
If yer package gets delivered without a signature because the shipper handed it off to a numpty 3rd party we need to know so that we can go after the shipper.
If you were notified of the shipment and changed the delivery terms / conditions / date etc. then that’s on you mate!
We sent yer item(s) out in perfect nick, so if the delivery driver uses your package as a football and it arrives smashed, that is shipping damage – take it up wi’ them!
When will yer stuff actually turn up? (Dinna hold yer breath)
Because we use budget mail to save ye siller, it will get there when it gets there.
Normal delivery times apply
Dinna hold yer breath expectin’ premium next-day service for standard-class prices.
If ye want premium next-day service then you will be payin’ fer it!
What counts as a ‘working day’?
We dinna work weekends!
We work Monday to Friday, no’ a minute more.
We also dinna work on Canadian Bank Holidays, Hogmanay, Burns Night or Guy Fawkes.
If ye place an order on a Saturday or Sunday we won’t even look at it until Monday morning.
If we need to order in mair supplies to build yer stuff, ye’ll just have to wait a wee bit—hence why the dates for getting your purchases out the door are purely estimated
so dinna get yer knickers in a twist.
How do ye ken yer stuff is on the road?
Stop checking the windy!
As soon as the postie / courier actually takes the box off our hands, our system will automatically fire a wee email straight to your “messages” address.
If ye don’t see it, check your spam folder before complaining.
Why is the tracking number no’ moving?
If your tracking link looks completely stuck, calm doon – the postie is likely just having a break.
The postie / courier only scans the boxes once a day (if we are lucky).
Have a cup of tea, bide yer time, and stop refreshing the page every five minutes
What if yer stuff vanishes into thin air? (Flat-out lost)
If weeks have passed and the postie / courier has completely lost your package in transit, here is the honest score on how we handle it:
- Check with your neighbors first
- Before ye come roaring to us, go and knock on a few doors.
- Nine times out of ten, the delivery driver has just dumped your box on old Maggie down the road or hidden it inside your blue wheelie bin without telling ye
- The “Wait and See” rule:
- The postie / courier won’t officially declare a package “lost” until a good chunk of time has passed.
- We won’t declare a package “lost” until a good chunk of time has passed either.
- If it’s only been a few days late, sit tight!
- If it’s truly gone
- If the local tea-leaves or some random chancer pinches your box off the porch because you were not there to sign fer it (because ye changed the delivery) that is on you! Do not look at us—you should have been in to get the door.
- If the courier admits they dropped the ball—ignored the signature requirement, smashed it to bits, lost it, or left it with some random chancer who is now happily playing with it fer free—we won’t leave ye high and dry.
- You do need to let us know so that we can lodge a claim with them to claw oor siller back (fer both the shippin’ and the goods!)
- We will get a replacement sent out to ye as soon as we can make another!
- Donnea yea try a fast one
- If the tracking link says “Delivered” but ye claim it isn’t there just to get a freebie, we will know.
- Ye need to 100% prove to us that the item was not delivered
- We don’t tolerate any cowboy behavior, so dinna even try it!
Does “Free shippin'” include “return shippin”?
Are ye joking?
“Free Shipping” means we paid to get it to ye.
If ye want to send it back because you broke it, that’s your coin, no’ oors—we’re a business, no’ a charity
You selected it, you ordered it and now that it’s arrived ye “don’t want it” ?- No’ a chance. We already paid the postie once to bring it to yer door, you can pay him to bring it back!
Listen, we make a solid, top-tier product and it left oor door in perfect nick. The only way you’re getting a single penny of paid return shipping out of us is if it’s a genuine manufacturing fault. If you break it yourself and try a fast one just because you changed yer mind—we’ll bloody well know!
Does “Free shippin'” include “return shippin”?
Are ye joking?
“Free Shipping” means we paid to get it to ye.
If ye want to send it back because you broke it an wan’ it fixed that’s your coin, no’ oors—we’re a business, no’ a charity
You selected it, you ordered it and now that it’s arrived ye “don’t want it” ?- No’ a chance. We already paid the postie once to bring it to yer door, you can pay him to bring it back tae oors!
Listen, we make a solid, top-tier product and it left oor door in perfect nick. The only way you’re getting a single penny of paid return shipping out of us is due a genuine manufacturing fault. If you break it yourself and try a fast one just because you changed yer mind—we’ll bloody well know!
Right, if it really is a proper manufacturing cock-up, then ye need to let us know so we can generate an official ‘Return Code’ and the paperwork to cover the postage / inmport / customs etc.. But dinna just fling it in the post box without that code, or it’ll end up in the bin!”